ezzy - mello & matt fanmix - PARALYZED

making the cover
alternate cover

i write fanfiction, draw fanart, make anime music videos, and cosplay, but only recently have i discovered the FANMIX. so, this is my first one. (i'm not too cozy putting these songs up for download, so i apologize. American copyright laws, you see. i only have iTunes files, which nobody can really use, anyway.) please let me know if there are any plot errors in my notes; i'm kind of a n00b. let's get started, shall we? =3

EDIT: i compiled a YouTube playlist here. this playlist includes all but Track 8 (Nothing At All by Wired All Wrong). some videos are the official music video and others are fanmade.

1. LOS ANGELES by SUGARCULT
I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles
I want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of Los Angeles

One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down

This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles

I want a love, love that won't hit back
Want sex, sex without a catch
Want a face, to trust, to feel, to lust
In the heat of Los Angeles
Want to fuck, fuck, fuck this up
Gonna feel, feel, feel you up
Had enough, enough, enough's enough
In the heat of Los Angeles

Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Los Angeles

At the US Mafia base in Los Angeles, Mello is ambitious to
achieve his goal of finding Kira. He has come all this way, into
this powerful position, for that sole purpose. While he waits for
developments, he reflects on his journey and his current
position. Anguished, he thirsts for a true romance, though he has
his pick of women already. He takes out his annoyance on these
women who have merely been bought for company by the Mafia
bosses, without acknowledging any semblance of humanity.

This song expresses the mind-numbing heat congruent with how
Mello must feel wearing leather during the LA summer. The music
and lyrics are just dripping with frustration, testosterone, and
repressed lust.

 

2. OUT OF CONTROL by Kenna
All this pressure is building up
And there's a chance it's gonna explode
And I can't promise how, when, or where, but
I can tell you it'll happen for sure

It's a crazy world that's spinning fast
Round and round and round we go
Just keep your eyes on me now love
Never stray, and never let go (No)

Shit is out of control
It's out of control
And I don't care what is happening
No getting frustrated
I wanna be sedated
So I don't care, love come with me.
Yeah, it's doing my head in
You're doing my head in
And I can't change the state of emotion!

Bang Bang Boom
Energy's in the air
And the universe is speaking to me
And it's telling me, telling you to get closer
Love lay it on me

It's the same old feeling
That I've been holding in
It's a feeling that's gotta hold
I need your love anarchy
So let me in and never let go (No)

It's insane how it feels
It's insane how it feels
And I'm losing my head
Yeah, I'm losing my mind
It's insane how it feels
It's insane how it feels
And I feel the pressure
And it's ready to blow!

Yeah, it's doing my head in
You're doing my head in
And I can't change... hey!

Mello, during the raid of the Mafia base, mentally prepares to
detonate the building. He struggles to gain freedom and find
Kira, and at the same time wants merely to protect himself out of
fear and panic. Finally, he connects the circuit. As Mello is
trapped in the rubble of the building, Matt is drawn toward him
almost inexplicably.

Mello's mental state is expressed well in the frantic tone of
this song, even punctuated by the muffled, distorted sounds of
rumbling explosions.

 

3. PLAN B by Mute Math
Fall out, fall through, fall apart
The endless cycle once I start
Plan B, Plan C, watch it go
And crumble into broken hopes

All around I fall apart and can't you see I'm
All around I'm all apart and can't you see I'm...

Mend it all, mend it all
Mend it all, mend it all
All I've torn, all I've run to the ground
Broken down, come mend it all

Days are slipping through my hands
I'm holding on in sinking sand
But to make it worse, I've made a mess
Can you make any sense of this?

All around I'm all apart and can't you see I'm
Falling down, I'm falling apart and can't you see I'm...

Dazed, Mello is surrounded by broken wood and cement, the ruins
of the lofty Mafia base. His mind goes back to his dear ally
Matt. He feels the burns on his left side and wonders vaguely if
he will die, and so he sends final prayers that Matt will know
whatever becomes of him. Matt also feels discouraged in his
systematic search for Mello, but presses on. A news broadcast
highlighting the building explosion sends him to LA.

The yelling portion toward the end brings to mind Mello in great
pain, trying to escape the rubble, and the strenuous healing
process of the burn injuries that later become his scars.

 

4. PARALYZER by Finger Eleven
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far, has not been good
It’s been shitty
And I feel awkward, as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Well I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I'm looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well, I'm still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place...

Matt has biked to LA. It is about two weeks after the
explosion. After an unsuccessful day's search of the explosion
site, Matt visits an LA club in an effort to lighten his mood. He
remains shaky and unenthusiastic, sipping alcohol procured with a
false ID at the bar, until he recognizes a familiar face. He is
almost positive that face is Mello's. Several times, he loses
Mello's face in the crowd of dancing clubbers and tries to scan
the blur of people in the dim lighting. When Mello finally stands
before him, it's almost as though he isn't even real. Matt
wonders if perhaps he's intoxicated.

This song kept making me think of Matt and Mello, and somehow I
wasn't sure why. The tune seems to bring to mind a happy time
between the two amidst the chaos of the Kira case.

 

5. SHOCKWAVE by Black Tide
I'm like a shockwave coming through your door
I'm like a bullet at the speed of light
I go around taking peoples lives
While you sit around saying lies
When I'm around you will feel the pain
And when I'm done you will be no more
Your life is through now mine begins
My days of agony are now gone

I'm shockwave and I don't need anyone
I'll follow the waves 'til the day I die
I'm a shockwave and I'll take your life
Don't mess with me - I'm a shockwave ready to kill

I am the one who feeds off your life
I'll be right there when you're ready to die
I am a killer but they're all scared
When I rise no time is spared

Shockwave!

Mello is back to his old Mafia self. He reaps the benefits of
Matt's motorbike, enjoying the speed and freedom, the power that
it gives him. He also has a certain amount of control over Matt, himself.

This song is like a demon. Mello zooming about on motorcycle,
leather-clad and sporting a left-side scar, comes to mind all too
easily.

 

6. OUT HERE ALL NIGHT by Damone
Summer's coming too fast,
Winter's been here too long
If we keep wasting our days,
Pretty soon they'll be gone

I've been out here all night,
I've been out here all day
With my eyes open wide
Hoping that you will say
Everything is all right
We can be happy too
If you look out for me
The way I looked out for you

People take what they need
Then they tell you "get lost"
Kindly leading you on
While they're ripping you off

If I sounded insecure
It's because I wasn't sure
You were really there

You can stand there all night
You can stand there all day
You can do what you like
It doesn't matter to me

Mello has taken some time away from the case and, for a short while, he and Matt can relax and do as they please. Mello begins to realize that Matt has done a lot for him when he could have been minding only himself. Matt has traveled the country, the world, even? He has risked his life, let Mello use his bike, earned them a little money through computer hacking jobs, and yet still he asks nothing in return. Mello kind of wishes he would.

The only track in this mix fueled by a female voice, still the
anger and ambition resonate throughout the song and ring true to
Mello's and Matt's experiences as orphans, urchins, and friends.

 

7. BARELY LISTENING by Pilot
Speed
I lie awake on this phone call just dreaming of better days
Flowers lie on the counter, remind her of better days

She says a prayer up to Jesus
And she asks him for his strength
And the night will go on bleeding
Was it faith that paid the rent?

I know you're barely listening
I know you're barely listening
I know you're barely listening
Now I know you're...

Standing here in the doorway
With a candle and a gun
The light tears through open windows
For now the day has won

Like a child on her way here
You just smile and run the other way
And faith won't find you a reason
It just smiles and runs the other way
It just smiles...
It just smiles and runs the other way

It's not worth waiting

You question love with a camera
And you cash in love with a will
Well, horror lies in loneliness
Now fight, the past can kill

Mello and Matt prepare for another day of efforts to find Kira,
mentally on the plane trip to Japan and physically before and
after they arrive. They reflect on life at Wammy's, as well as
recent life together, and they try to recall what exactly they
are fighting for. Though unspoken, their doubts are shared by the
two of them.

 

8. NOTHING AT ALL by Wired All
Wrong
Once knew a girl by the name of Emily
Who I would go and visit on the downtown seat
She promised me love but it didn't come free
And I don't mean money but the way she'd be like,

"It makes no sense to me why
You can't just stay with me tonight
You're the apple of my eye"
S... like that so I never went back but

Now they've come to take me away
What have I done to be so afraid
Staring down the barrel of a gun

And lady I don't know you, you don't know me any better
Better listen what I'm sayin', cause this means
Nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all
Lady tell me the truth, can we trust to the letter?
Better listen what I'm saying, cause this means
Nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all

Check it
Always known a girl by the name of Christine
Who I've been macking on since the age of 19
She could lead me on like a border collie
But I still keep coming like I hit the ground runnin' sayin'

"I'll do my hair up real fly
I'll wear brand names that you like
You're the apple of my eye"
S... like that but she never called back so

Now they've come to take me away
What have I done to be so afraid
To turn her off like a television

Guess it was something I said
That put those thoughts in your head
Guessing you're better off dead
If you can't make me notice

Guess it was something you said
That put those thoughts in my head
Guessing I'm better off dead
If I can't make you notice

All in all the damage is done
Why can't we turn it off and on like a television
Now I'm staring down the barrel of a gun
Because I can't make you notice a reaction

Mello reflects on Mafia life before the explosion and before
Matt. Now, he realizes, they are officially on the run from the
police. When Mello commands Takada to remove her clothes, thus
assuring that she is unarmed and will not try to escape, he feels
the need to psychologically justify her nudity to himself, by
claiming it doesn't matter, but he doesn't know why. While
driving the truck, he realizes it may have something to do with
Matt. If they can't confide in one another, perhaps it is best
that they both delve into this mission head-first.

The second part of each verse perfectly fits Mello's more
demented expressions and his tendency toward moods and violence.

 

9. TAKE ME OUT by Franz
Ferdinand
So if you're lonely,
You know i'm here waiting for you,
I'm just a crosshair,
I'm just a shot away from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken, shattered, a lie
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot, then we can die

I know I wont be leaving here with you

I say don't you know
You say you don't know
I say... take me out
I say you don't show
Don't move time is slow
I say... take me out

I say don't you know
You say you don't know
I say... take me out
If I move this could die
Eyes move this can die
C'mon...take me out

I know I wont be leaving here (with you)

Matt and Mello ready for the final stages of their mission, kidnapping Takada. They are both aware that the likelihood of one or both of them dying is very high, but they will do the best they can to back each other up.

 

10. PIECES OF THE SUN by Test
Your Reflex
I don't wanna be the one
I don't wanna be the one who tells you
That I don't know what I've become, or what I want to be
I know I'm always on the run
I'm always searching for the final moment
And I know that it will come
Yes I will be free, I will be free

Every little thing I promised you I'll make it come true
I'm not ready to stop
What is love? little pieces of the sun
It's bound to touch you, if you're ready or not

It's getting harder everyday, as I listen to the conversations
I'm getting tired of this place
And I need to go, I need to go

Every little thing I promised you I'll make it come true
I'm not ready to stop
What is love? little pieces of the sun
It's bound to touch you, if you're ready or not

All along I've tried to hide
Afraid that you would see right through me
All the pain and tears I've cried
I've never really told the story
Nothing's left to lose this time
I'm getting out the game is ending
Promise me at least you'll try, to do the same and leave with me

Matt's and Mello's dying thoughts are with one another.

The chorus hearkens back to the first track, the sun a happy
memory, all that's left of the heat of LA. This sun brings to
mind Mello's yellow-blonde hair and fond feelings associated with
it and its wearer, from Matt. The final verse seems to be a
memory of Mello's and Matt's thoughts as they prepared for this
day, getting ready to toss caution to the wind in what would be
practically a suicide mission, and debating with themselves as to
just how much the other should know about him. It's heartbreaking
to think that whatever these thoughts consisted of, the other
would never know them in life... Yet, oh-so-touching to think
that they shared these fond thoughts of one another in death,
held almost as a victory.